Fragile

My heart is fragile - sometimes I forget how fragile. My old heart was bursting with gratitude Went to a concert yesterday with my beloved great nephew and his terrific grandmother (my SIL who also went to high school with me!) I was in the hospital waiting room the day Gnephew was born, we've prayed for and cried over and rejoiced about young man for many years - right now it appears a major transformation has occurred in his life. Gnephew is the one with black tshirt standing with concert artist Jamie Slocum - it was blessed on Buhlaland and I remember now how fragile my heart can be.

Soli Deo Gloria to God alone the Glory.

Blessed are those who are caregivers

Prayer at caregiver's convention just received this link in an email from my dear SIL and brother - they were caregivers for so many of our family it is hard to keep track. Needless to say - they respected and loved the older generation and eased their transition in the final journey home.
It is a long clip - well worth the time but if you are in a hurry - here is the prayer recited at the end of wonderful introduction.
Blessed In Aging
~Esther Mary Walker
Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and shaking hand
Blessed, who know my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are those who seem to know
My eyes are dim and my mind is slow
Blessed are those who look away
When I spilled tea that weary day.
Blessed are they who, with cheery smile
Stopped to chat for a little while
Blessed are they who know the way
To bring back memories of yesterday.
Blessed are those who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today”
Blessed are they who make it known
That I am loved, respected and not alone.
And blessed are they who will ease the days
Of my journey home, in loving ways.
This poem, as read by Mary Maxwell in the video
“A Reminder That Laughter is the Best Medicine.”
I agree with Mary Maxwell - this is the first time I've been old and haven't had a chance to practice, but if I can handle it with the grace and humor she presents - shouldn't be too bad to venture into uncharted territory.

Remember - if you are young and blessed - some day you TOO will be old. We're smiling here on Buhlaland and that is always good.

Mother's Day and the Sweet Bye and Bye

Waking up to a warm foggy morning is such a rare event - I grabbed camera and flannel jacket ('cause I was in nightgown) and went out to capture a bit. First picture was sun breaking through right in front of our house. Second is two of the 7 deer who decided I was too ridiculous appearing to be a danger and came quite close.

Something iconic about windmills and oak trees in our part of Texas - this view is from out back fence into land now owned by the county but used to be part of a small cattle operation.

Been missing my family a lot lately - perhaps it is part of growing older and so many are already gone ahead of me. Happy Mother's Day to you who were blessed with children and those of us who were not - Happy Mother's Day to you because we all mother something or someone.

Sweet old hymn in my mind and didn't find a good youtube video of it - but here are the lyrics - it is good on Buhlaland to enjoy the beauty and remember we are only strangers passing through on our journey Home.

There's a land that is fairer than day,
And by faith we can see it afar;
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there.

Refrain:
In the sweet in the sweet
By and by by and by,
We shall meet on that beautiful shore;
In the sweet in the sweet
By and by by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore.

We shall sing on that beautiful shore
The melodious songs of the blest,
And our spirits shall sorrow no more
Not a sigh for the blessing of rest.
Refrain:

To our bountiful father above
We will offer our tribute of praise;
For the glorious gift of His love
And the blessings that hallow our days.

Saddest Verses in The New Testament

We are still not able to go to traditional (as in at a building with hundreds of other people) church services due to DH's immune issues. We watch and are blessed by the teachings of some preachers (both on television and internet) but sit in jaw-dropped amazement at the total lack of scriptural authenticity in others. Today in our devotionals we read a section in Matthew which struck me as the saddest verses in the NT - now don't come at me saying verses around the crucifixion are sadder - we know Christ's sacrifice was for a purposeful plan the Father had to give us a way back to Him.

The Narrow and Wide Gates NIV Matthew 7:13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

I've read these verses at least a hundred times in my 6 decades of life- but this morning those words "only a few find it" hit me so hard. Jesus taught clearly to thousands a truth which the world wants to ignore. MOST will choose the easy road and be led to destruction. Following the teachings of some spiritual leaders will not get you to that narrow gate.

Just a few verses later it is clear how the end will be for those who deliberately misconstrue His words and teachings- (the Message paraphrase)Matthew 7:21-23"Knowing the correct password—saying 'Master, Master,' for instance— isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.' "

I realize, dear readers, we are all at different stages in understanding. If you haven't been reading the Bible regularly I highly recommend it as a daily activity. We believe the Holy Spirit reveals to us when we are ready - when we have "ears to hear". Apparently I am at a point where I need to realize not everyone we love is going to choose the narrow road - we'll continue to pray for opening their eyes to the truth , for their hearts not to be hardened - but it isn't up to us. So it is good on Buhlaland - we have the blessing of scriptures to read and eyes to see and ears to hear - even when those eyes are shedding tears.

As an editorial note - I'll enable comment moderation for this post - seems to be a number of folks out there with particular demons to exorcise in their minds who like to post comments.

Flutterbye

This morning I'd like some problems we are facing to do what this butterfly did - visit if you must but then flutter away to some other garden! Isn't that selfish - to wish problems would visit somewhere else? My late husband (a wonderful guy who passed away in 1996) was often asked if he was angry a good person like him got something horrible like cancer. He (Ross) would always say "who would I wish this on? " He was a better person than I am -you probably notice I tend to marry above my grade in maturity level.

This morning we go into Fort Worth to the Heart Center for hubby to have a a stress echocardiogram. I'm claiming verses like crazy in my heart -"fear not", "trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understand" "be still and know that I am God" - but I realize the right one for us today is

2 Cor.4: 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

The possibility of serious heart problems or any of the myriad physical afflictions which can drastically change our lives aren't equal to persecution in the faith, but making that correction in my application of what Paul wrote - I still trust our physical being WILL waste away but eternal glory - now that's a trade off worth anything. Y'all remind me of this when I get down in the dumps again OK?

It IS good on Buhlaland this morning - even butterflies have the sense to enjoy what they have when they have it. This morning I have my beloved and he has me, we both have our salvation and loving Father. That's enough isn't it?

Snapshots of a life well lived

My mother in law, Ethel, was born April 4, 1919 - an identical twin. She loved being a twin - although a few years ago the three of us (DH, MIL and me) had studio pictures made and she didn't like any of the proofs. We got a little exasperated with her and asked WHY? they were all good shots - she made a little disgusted face and said "I look like Elsie". We both cracked up - well yes Mom - you DO look like your identical twin! We told her we'd buy the pictures anyhow and tell people it was really Elsie.
They grew up on a farm in Michigan and she often shared stories about the cooking and animals and family gatherings. I think she liked living with us because we have animals and live outside town. One picture is the twins when they were young women and the other was taken about five years ago. The feisty hula girl was Ethel in 1944.


Ethel moved from Michigan to Florida with her husband who unfortunately passed away in 1980. In later years she lived there with her younger son and his family and still later her beloved youngest child and only daughter, Pat. She believed in staying busy and worked at KMart--keeping in touch with many gal pals from her KMart days. Ethel maintained a busy correspondence schedule - sending cards and notes to literally dozens of people. Since her death there will be a lot of folks with less in their mailboxes now - she never liked email but almost every day had a stack of notes and cards to mail. She was creative and a joyous participant in holidays - at Christmas she loved decorating - my Christmas pictures show some of her handiwork. One of her special joys was reading --often reading 4 or 5 books in a week. When she and I went into Fort Worth we made our shopping circuit -- DSW shoes, Mardel's Christian Bookstore - then to Costco. We'd trade books and have friends who also love reading and had the Linda, Ethel , Ella and Kathy exchange library around here! She also sent shoeboxes of paperbacks to Elsie and we got packages in the mail with Elsie's share of the book exchange.
Ethel left notes around her bedroom upstairs - reminders of doctor's appointments, eye exams, people's special events and bits of scripture or Christian fiction which caught her eye. Every morning she was up in her room after breakfast - reading Our Daily Bread and the scriptures related to those readings. She loved Christ as her Lord - deeply and with a personal faith.
The last picture is Ethel several years ago in DH's sporty red car - she was always willing to have fun and often teased by her devoted son - we'll miss you Ethel but definitely will see you again some sweet day.
"No eye has seen, no ear has hear, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."Isaiah64:4

Personal note

July 11,2008

Mother in law passed on to Glory this afternoon - a few hours after DH arrived back in Texas. He'll return for her services next week - We'll be using the scripture she had by her bed in the memorial notes. She will never be afraid again - safe and whole and we'll see her when it is our time. Thank you all so very much for your prayers and thoughtful notes. I found some wonderful pictures of her and will post them in a few days - too tired tonight. DH seems to have come home bringing a bad bronchitis with him. It could have stayed in Michigan and we would have been just as happy here in Buhlaland. Life is good - death is a passage and tears are flowing. I love a verse from Revelation 22: 1-5 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun. for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.
Amen - it is just a little while - no believer ever says goodbye forever.



Wanted to post to let you know where things stand on Buhlaland right now. We are dealing with the inevitable - my DH's 89 year old mother had a stroke. Doctors are not giving any encouragement for improvement in the situation - so they will make decisions tomorrow after a consult. She is a busy, active and bright little lady who has never complained about the bumps in the road of her life. While looking for some paperwork in her bedroom upstairs - we found a scripture verse written out in one of her ever present little teeny notebooks - Mark 5:36 - Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe."
Amen to that - don't be afraid just believe.
I often wonder how "personal" to get on my blog -quite a bit of emotion around here and I wanted you to know if I don't post for a while - it isn't because I quit loving the blogosphere.

Family portraits

The lovely doe with a chain on her neck is Snickers' twin sister. We were up at the home of our neighbors and I took a picture to compare their sizes. Snick is definitely larger (bucks should be) and he lives a very different life. As a milk goat she is kept in a pen and fed only hay and grain - not mistreated at all not saying that - but Snickers runs in the pastures and eats weird plants. Of course he also stays scratched up and clobbered from his more rough existence but you can surely see the resemblance in Nubians - the other 3 are bucks born to a different doe. Just for those who are interested in the goatishness around Buhlaland. Later - I need to get busy - more work than daylight this week!

China - and no not the country

Per instructions from Shannon I'm doing a short blog about "nice" china - the white floral with gold rim is from my mom - I remember my dad bringing this home but I didn't recall the date until I found a delivery note from his purchase in 1951. He had been on TDY (temporary duty) with the United States Air Force in England -those were the days before internet and cheap long distance so we got a few letters and I don't remember if he was able to call home or not. The family picture is marked in my mom's writing 1955 but I think it was a little earlier. Shannon - it is definitely NOT washed in a dishwasher - and it is worth the extra trouble. I remember my mom lovingly hand washing and drying these dishes for special occasions. (before we go all "I remember Mama" on this thing - in my childhood NOBODY had dishwashers - or if they did - they called them "children"!)

Enough of this china foolery - since I first read Shannon's request for china pictures - my real life has been on hold and it isn't holding well right now. Thank you for the trip down a memory lane - I also have two sets of every day dishes (not paper plates - although we do have those) and a beautiful set of dishes seen elsewhere in my blog ,came with DH when we combined households. It is cold, crowded in dish cabinets and good in Buhlaland.

Favorite Holiday Decoration

Once upon a time - I was living in Midland Texas and we got these strange things called bonus checks - they usually came just in time to be spent for Christmas. One year (probably 1986) we decided we needed a nice nativity set for our holiday decor and purchased this set made by an artist group called Teissedre - they have an internet presence now and a store in Arizona. Our purchase was made in a small shop in Midland and has been a treasure. It isn't the most beautiful or even all that unique (you can still buy a set that looks almost the same) but it meant a lot to us. I think that is how I set value on things now - other than real estate which is my business. The value comes from what use the object has or the memory it brings afresh. The nativity set brings some great memories and there is almost no one left in my life who shared that time. So I set up these figures and recall sweet times. Life provides new events and people who are wonderful and a blessing - some days the old things just seem extra sweet to me and today is one of those days on Buhlaland.

Memory Walk

DH and I did a 5K walk on Saturday for the Alzheimer's Association of North Texas - the red flag in this picture is for my Dad - he was robbed of his pleasant old age by that vile disease. Very emotional day, so many stories people share and a beautiful location. One gentleman was there by himself, walked alone and said he was walking for his wife who evidently has Alzheimer's - that's love folks - real love. If someone you love has this disease - make every minute with them count - it is the small things that touch your heart and keep them with you mentally as long as possible. My older brother and his wife were primary caregivers for our parents - and did an fabulous job - they showed incredible levels of compassion and patience during this "long goodbye". Thanks Bob and Shell!

Walking wise - we did pretty well - defnitely have the fever to do another 5K walk soon (not a fund raiser - I stink at fund raising). Buhlaland is a bit in turmoil right now - I'm not my usual positive self and it is difficult but the best and worst thing about this life is that absolutely nothing (other than faith) lasts forever. So it is still good on Buhlaland.

New faces,Familiar Faces - same places

DH has a son, daughter in law and grandson who are here on Buhlaland for a first ever visit. Grandson is a smart and often funny fellow who really likes Rocky the goat - Rockster is pretty crazy about the boy also. While we went for a walk (sometimes DH and grandson were running but I'm too dignified for that - actually -I value my joints too much to do that to them!) this morning GS talked about the goats and what were they doing and where were they going? We opened the gates to back pasture (trusting that drier weather would cut back on the need for isolating pastures for parasite control) and GS wanted a pic with Rocky - our very small and so far nonfunctioning buck! Rocky has developed a semi-mohawk - what style the little fellow has! OK - that is the kid and kids report.

Next picture is Hannah ( mother of Montana) literally chest deep in grass. What a difference a year of rain makes in the pastures! Hannah was quite ill for a while there - same problem that took her twin Bananna - but this time it turned out better - Hannah is regaining weight, her nose is no longer a whiter shade of pale and she is able to butt heads with the rest of the gals. With a firm belief in the totally subjective theory you cannot publish too many beautiful sunrises - Ta Da - First sunrise of October - life is good on Buhlaland. Y'all come back now.

Fun Blogger's Quiz

One of my few and faithful internet readers posted a fun question series on her blog(www.kidkitchen.blogspot.com) which by the way is a great place to hear about real life not all these bugs and goats and sunrises I rave on and on about! Kid's Kitchen got a set of thought provoking questions from her blog pal FriedOkra and then had a contest to see which reader would post fast enough to be her next three interviewees. Being a basically competitive person - I hurriedly begged for the chance. Then I received her questions and had to THINK a bit about answers - so here ya go! By the way - thanks Pam - I am tickled to be tagged in this!



1.And I would walk ten thousand miles…To continue the song theme, for what (or whom) would you walk ten thousand miles?
To lose the weight I still need to lose! (I know it should have been something deeper and spiritual-I can plead that this is for my health which is partly true but if I knew the hour and minute Jesus was coming back - I'd buy OUT the Godiva chocolate stores and get busy. I'm getting tired of working hard to lose weight - just put me on the road, shove me out there and make me get it over with!)

2. Tell me about your middle name. What is it? Do you like it? Why did your parents choose it? Sue - yes love it - parents chose Sue because in southern speak - Lindasueporter (maiden name) rolled easily and it wasn't PeggySue which was what my big brother wanted me named.


3. Cilantro: love it or leave it?
Love it in big bunches - DH hates it equally - so when I make something that cannot be without cilantro - I make some separate cilantroless for DH.

4. I never learned to play the piano, but I wish I did. What do you wish you could do?
Dance - Oh goodness I'd love to get out there and really shake my tail feathers - but alas and alack - I have the well earned title of MisCoordination.


5.People put different toppings on their hot dogs, depending on what part of the country they are from. What do you put on your hot dog…assuming you eat them!
Love hot dogs(totally don't give a flip about what is in them so nobody go all food police on me - I do prefer Hebrew National all beef if I'm picking), mustard, kraut, and onions - yeah baby!


6.What do you consider to be your magnum opus, or greatest accomplishment?
Only goal I pursued a long time and accomplished was graduating from college. It isn't a big deal to most younger people - but it took me a LONG time of being in and out to git 'er done. The thing I'm most amazed about is being married to a Christian man (I was widowed at age 48 and that story is too long to tell ) at this age and still finding new depths to the Lord's love. (whew finally found a question where I could sound more appropriately the old Church Lady - not the usually rebellious, stayed alive this long by accident, many miles on my life odometer person I hide so well !LOL! Shalom!!

Sunshine for a while!

The orange/maroon blooms are the same lily shown on 5/27/07 posting about all the rain - amazing what some sun can do for flowering plants. Next picture is the sweet ruffled flower of an apricot colored daylily.

It is over under some oak trees - needs a little coddling but as you can see it is worth it! Two blooms just opened today - they were a gift a year or so ago on Easter - lovely trumpet shape set off by the container of ivy they are currently sharing. The waterlily blooms quickly given sunshine and warmer water - it is in the upper 70's already.

During lunch break I had a few minutes to take and download some "sunny shots". Plants and animals both respond to the warmth. Today we let the goats out in our front drive. Most are gorging on the tall grasses while some were lazing under a clump of oaks and scratching lots of spots created by biting insects after all this rain.

Here is a comparison view- the picture with goats is today - no goats is 5/27 - lots of rain! The topic is done - no more chatting about the rain or end of rain ----until the next 6 or 7 inch rain occurs!

Bless y'all - it is a good thing to be on Buhlaland today.

Updating on inaugural post - Norman is being a good mother - but already wearying of nursing her overeager Boudreaux - he acts like a starving boy when going for mom's meal on the hoof. She tends to just keep strolling along. She isn't rejecting him but she knows he is already able to eat grasses,grain and weeds - he is not totally dependent on her for nutrition. The little dark goat with one white foot (behind Norman) is Blackie's wether - surely tempted to let him stay when we take the wethers to market next week. She (Blackie) seems more content and sure of her place in the herd with offspring of her own (last year she had a stillbirth). I know I tend to ascribe human feelings to the goats based on observing them - up close and personal - for a few years. Most does seem to be stronger and happier with blood relatives around them - maybe it's the familiar smell. I make no claims of knowledge about goat mental states definitely not the Goat Whisperer of Texas.
I was mentioning Blackie (yes she is the solid black doe - somedays we aren't inspired when naming goats ) she is pictured in our front parking spot. You can also see the recently named Violet (white body - brown head with long ears) just in front of Blackie. We've had a month with 21 days of rain - Thank you Lord - the babies are ready to enjoy the drier weather. Another goat posting -there will be fewer when we slow down as the babies are bigger and we aren't changing the composition of our critter herd every few days.