I've looked several times for this full length version of a poem/heart felt cry written by Mary Jean Irion who (at last result via google) lives near Lancaster Pennsylvania.  I'd read parts of it in a Joni Eareckson Tada book and wanted to share it with you.
I thank Ms. Irion for clearly wording at least a few of the wishes of those of us who go through major life change.

Personally - I'm  doing well enough - returned to church this morning for first time in several years.  Beloved friends (as we say in the south )carried me there and home.  I'm eating,trying to learn to sleep through the night (fireworks aren't helping with that task!)  doing masses of paperwork, learning to live without my primary role.
DH's service at Dallas National Cemetery was just right - I think he would have approved and it was just what I needed and not a single person or event I didn't want (well except the obvious - NOT to have to say a final farewell).  Thank you for expressing your support, prayers and comfort - and especially for those who have laughed with me.
Will see about coming back to blogging - still not there yet - but it is possible - in God all things are possible.
It is summer on Buhlaland - hot, dry and speeding past.

What a difference he made in my life - can't regret the hard things when I have had and continue to have so much - dang I miss him.  Y'all be good to yourselves and easy on one another - it is all much shorter than you think!  I promise if I come back to blogging - will be about critters and flowers and projects - until then -
Vaya Con Dios.

No longer as lovely on Buhlaland

W. H. Auden
Vintage

I
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
    doves, 
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

My beloved went to heaven on June 6th - no words from me could explain how he changed my life for the better.  God is faithful to comfort and provide and I'll survive this - but at the moment hard to express how my heart is breaking.  It is still good on Buhlaland - we'll be together again some sweet day.  

Wish I were thinking about how lovely  summery light is on the neighbor's pasture and our backyard.  I have not been blogging and probably won't much in the near future - DH's health continues to be primary concern -- too intimate both in feelings and privacy issues to discuss on a public blog.IHimself is a very private person and still finds it uncomfortable to have to share so much with strangers)
  He was hospitalized last month - all projects here on Windsor have pretty much halted until we can find a competent handyman to hire and that is still proving a challenge.  The Lord will provide - and today He provided warm, windy summery day.  I apologize for not blogging - I do occasionally read blogs and  enjoy  keeping up with your adventures and lives through the writings/pictures you share - just won't be doing it.  I am maintaining this blog  for my own perspective on past several years.  At some point - Lord willing and finances allow - would like to do one of those print editions of  blog - several people over the years have had their blogs printed off and it would seem to be a wonderful diary.
Received a  message from one of my internet friends yesterday -
"Humans can't live in the present, like animals do. Humans are always thinking about the future or the past. So it's a veil of tears, man. I don't know anything that's going to benefit me now,except love. I just need an overwhelming amount of love. And a nap. Mostly a nap."- Townes Van Zandt

Sounds as if it is written by a cat - a rather perceptive cat at that.

Striving to be more in the vein of Robert Browning's Pippa Passes

The year's at the spring,
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hill-side's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his Heaven --
All's right with the world!

Indeed - He is in control and as always - I'm eternally grateful!

Hallelujah

Nothing else to say - we rejoice on Buhlaland with believers everywhere - He Is Risen and nothing has ever been the same.

Valleys, Deserts, Mountaintops - not a travelogue

Began this post rather a long while ago - love the music and it's message. We've been in more than a few valleys of late - hoping to post in next week about a mountain top (or two). Skip continues to work hard against deterioration of breathing - and just plain work hard! Things are happening according to a schedule NOT of our making - we can see the Lord's hand in it all - might not like every bit of it - but know that He is God and we're not - and y'all should be tickled that's how it is! Will be back - soon I hope.

Birthdays come so often!

Few words from me - sweet doggies, lovely gifts, out to brunch, all dressed up and for a change someplace to go (and ENJOY!) Sixty four - not a bad age - but definitely not in "middle age" anymore - no way I'll make it to 128! I was blessed for my birthday (and all the days in the year) far beyond what I deserve and I am SOOO grateful! Mostly a garden themed b'day and with an almost blank slate here on Windsor - that is fabulous! It is good on Buhlaland and just a little older.

Bless y'all - it is spring here - loving it!

Spring is definitely coming

Snowfall on Monday - gave Senor Cerdo (our garden flying pig ) a cold coat. I did my usual stunt and fell down in back yard while taking dogs out - but damage seems to be minor - achey and stiff no breakey!

Our weather is classic North Texas - from snow to fog to bright sunshine in 36 hours!

Warming ground and moisture coming through seems to have given us quite a bit of fog lately - picture is from the back of our yard toward house and newly constructed storage building/carport.Posts are for temporary fence (which is temporarily not being worked on.)

New carport is great and DH will work on converting attached to house garage into heated/air conditioned woodworking shop for his projects.

Working on getting other place minor repairs and needs deep cleaning before sale can be

completed - hoping and praying to close in mid March and be done with that chapter.

Fun finding out what is already here in our new home - lots of daffs appearing - I moved the toad house (which is disguised as a bird house sitting on the ground) into front area.

Seasons of life -we see changes in snow or daffodils or downsizing - all part of the Plan. Bless y'all for coming by - our much more compact and spring 'a'popping Buhlaland - it is good here too.

We are doing OK on new health plan - DH not going for a lung transplant so working hard to stay active and be humbly grateful not grumbly hateful! every day God gives us together. You will see a big change in next couple of weeks - goat heading going away - have accepted reality we will NOT be having goats now so I'm working at finding good homes for final beloved 5 very spoiled goats!

January ending

Still not in the blog mood - here is a picture of DH working on a temporary fence in our new home. We may have a buyer for the other place - will know more in about 20 days if the financing and all is going to work out. Don't believe the hogwash about things are getting better in this country --financing, foreclosures, joblessness or downsized to lower paying jobs - we simply are becoming desensitized to the lowering of our economic standards. Please think seriously when you are deciding who to vote for this year.

I've been dealing with an odd assortment of minor health issues - been told by more than one person they think it is "stress" - well DUH - but I know they mean well.

Scripture as usual provided me with a much needed sense of direction -

^{Isaiah 43:16} The Lord is making roads through the sea. He is making a path for his people, even through rough waters. The LORD says, ¹⁷ “Those who fight against me with their chariots, horses, and armies will be defeated. They will never rise again. They will be destroyed. They will be put out like the flame in a lamp. ¹⁸ So don’t remember what happened in earlier times. Don’t think about what happened a long time ago, ¹⁹ because I am doing something new! Now you will grow like a new plant. Surely you know this is true. I will even make a road in the desert, and rivers will flow through that dry land. ²⁰ The wild animals will thank me. The large animals and birds will honor me when I put water in the desert and make rivers flow through that dry land. I will do this to give water to my chosen people. ²¹ I made them, and they will sing songs of praise to me"

OK to me this said - don't keep looking over your shoulder at what has been - look ahead to what God is doing and will do with my life - when I give up trying to direct my own steps.

We are blessed - our mini version of Buhlaland is feeling more like home (no goats yet but I'm working on getting some fence done!). Thank you for stopping by - someday I'll have real news or get back in the bloggity groove. Bless y'all - February is upon us! Plenty of important events in February and here is a hint about at least one!

Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?

Still Here

Blogosphere is not my world much lately -- with new internet plan we are limited by how much we "use" and somehow I justify not staying in touch with y'all by supposedly saving time not blogging. That pitiful excuse put out now -

very little change in our lives - still not done moving out of other place (I'm currently in totally overwhelmed cannot get it done phase). Gift of gorgeous weather reminds me - God is in charge not me - for which everyone should be enormously (eternally?) grateful. Warm mornings resulted in low lying fog and sunshine illuminating oaks on my way to work the other day - Buhlaland can be anywhere we are right? So this was just off Sarra Lane here in North Texas. It is good on Buhlaland - when I stop and pay attention to all the good.

Sorry I'm not blogging -not positive when it'll change. I do try to catch up with y'all while I'm at work (unlimited internet there).

Pray for one another - pray for our country - pray with passion - it makes a difference.

When a believing person prays, great things happen. (James 5:16)